Sweet Dreams

This one day...I was worried
So this morning I was woken up to the lovely sound of my dad decorating the stairway at the gorgeous hour of half 8 in the morning. Now usually this wouldn’t have been a bad choice of timings, however, I woke up grouchy and ready to snap. The reason being I haven’t slept well since January.

It all started with the realisation of actually being genuinely alone. Apart from my boyfriend I haven’t really had anyone to confide in.
I think that my downfall was that disastrous summer holiday last year. I seem to have a problem of making up my mind and ultimately end up making bad decisions.

Choosing to get close to one of my friends backfired resulting in instant social rejection and the worse thing is knowing that i'm still not entirely over it yet...maybe i need to grow up?

After getting over the initial shock of the loss of my strong social network I realised I needed to mend my ways and I found out who my closest friends were and gradually I started to feel better with myself.

The lack of sleep tends to make me quite weepy, especially before bed-time; as a result I have found that having a little cry is the only way to get me to sleep. The worrying aspect is that I’m still not quite sure why I do it. Maybe it’s becoming a habit?

I seem to run some distressing scenarios through my mind causing me to get worked up...
I don’t think I’m in need of any medical help only because I know I can control it.
Maybe I’m just going through a phase of pessimism which usually comes as a shock to people around me as I am naturally bubbly and happy most of the times, I guess we all have bad days (well months).

I don’t want to worry people, but at the same time I want to talk about it. Once again, another balancing act.